Do you ever feel like St. Peter denying Christ?

Posted: September 19, 2018 in Uncategorized

Often; less now than in my younger years. I also see times in my past more clearly, times when I felt I was upholding the truths of the gospel, but in fact, I was denying them, hindering them. I wanted prayers of “accepting Jesus” from “converts” rather than genuine repentance. I often played the “Jesus didn’t really mean______” game, with his teachings on wealth, violence, self-defense, poverty, denying oneself, just like the Serpent in the Garden to Eve. “Did God really say…..?” I see now how wrong I was, how Jesus never said a word he didn’t mean, exactly the way he said it. He didn’t die so we wouldn’t have to; he died to show us how it’s done. What he wants…is repentance.

In my 58 years, I have allowed my eyes to see and hands to do things that I am terribly ashamed of, that still rear their foul heads and condemn me, snap at me, gnash their teeth at my mind, my soul, my emotions. I have hurt people in ways subtle and obvious, and while I never “denied God” outright, I lived for years a hedonistic life of practical godlessness. I have caused great sorrow. But I can humbly pray…

I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do: and I ask…you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.

HOWEVER, whether anyone else forgives me or respects my conversion, I am, and shall forever be, so very grateful for a God, my Lord Jesus Christ, who, by his Holy Spirit, has forgiven me completely and brought me, welcomed me, like Peter, back.Image result for prodigal son

The Prodigal Son. Painting by Geliy Korzhev

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